Day 7 on the 1:1 Diet: I'm Still Here

 A week ago, I was excited and nervous about restarting this diet. The first time I did this diet and really did it well was in March 2018. I stuck to the diet like my life depended on it; in reality, it actually did. I was just tired of being fat all the time. Tired of having knee pain all the time. Tired of always being the fat one in pictures. Infact, I hated taking full length pictures and stuck to the occasional selfie. After 8 months of following the diet strictly, I was rewarded with a 40kg loss. 

My confidence shot through the roof, and I even wore an evening gown for the first time. I mean, I never thought I would be blessed with the opportunity to fit into a UK12 at any point in my adult life. I was content with being a UK16 after being a UK22-24 for so long. However, just when I was beginning to enjoy my new body a number of things happened. COVID, losing my mom, downsizing at my job and some family drama.

I lost myself; I lost the will to do anything really and just let myself go completely. The previous me was in the gym every other day but at this point all I did was lay in bed, eat junk in massive proportions and watch TV. Well, for a body with a slow metabolism, the weight crept back on and fast. Fast forward to 2025, I gained the 40kg and added an additional 15 for good measure. Am I ashamed of myself? Yes. Do I wish I could have done something differently when I noticed the weight creeping back up? Probably. Truth is I was just happy to be alive at that point, with all that was going on around us.

Then it finally hit me one day: MY WHY. Why I needed to lose this weight. Why I needed to stay healthy. I need to do this for LOVE. I need to do this because I love God and he does not condone gluttony. I need to do this because I love my family and do not want to burden them with avoidable illnesses. I need to do this because I want to be able to be strong to bring my children into the world. I need to do this because I LOVE ME.

This diet is quite expensive and actually took a chunk out of my savings but, money can be recovered but life... not so much.

I'm feeling quite emotional and needed to pour out my thoughts.

Anyway, tomorrow is weigh-in day and I'm eager to see what the scale will read. Till then.

Be safe.

It's Me Again.

 After what seems like eternity, I'm finally back. In the last four years I have tried and failed several times to lose weight. Instead, I just seemed to keep on adding more. For every 2-3kg lost I would end up gaining that and then some. To say I've moved through moods; from depression to despair and then defeat just wouldn't express what I've been through.

I've tried to act like I'm unperturbed by the development. After enjoying the peace of mind and good health that came with weight loss a few years ago. I now have to deal with constant feelings of lethargy and waist pain that only suppositories seem to get rid of. Enough! I'm literally tired of this weight and intend to do something about it.

I won't be standing on the scale or posting a starting weight till the beginning of February. However, we start afresh tomorrow.

The plan is to do the following:

1. Exercise for at least 30mins each day.

2. Eat less carbs.

3. Stay away from soda and juices

4. Eat more vegetables 

We start with baby steps and add on as we go.

I would say wish me luck but at this point I really just need to get off my lazy butt.

Day 149

I still can't believe I have been on this diet for over 21 weeks. It's been one heck of a ride these last five months with each week being filled with extreme joy as I watched the number on the scale go down each time I stepped on. I remember the day I fit into a pair of UK 14 jeans. Oh my! There were tears in my eyes as I screamed "they actually fit."

To say it was so easy would not be entirely true. There are times I miss eating my favorites like grilled chicken, salmon and the likes. I however console myself with the fact that I would be able to eat these in moderation if I do what's right and lose all the weight. 

It feels good to finally get clothes that fit every time I enter a shop. I'm even scared that I may end up spending too much on clothes now 😍😍, but I'd rather do that than spend on medication as a result of me being obese.

At the moment I weigh 84.8kg, the lowest I have ever been in over 17 years. My first goal is to get to 80kg, and then slowly move to 70kg as I progress through Steps 2 to Step 5. I ultimately want to weigh at least 64kg to be in the normal BMI range, but I also want that to happen at a much slower rate than what I have now.

I'm just so grateful to the Lord that I finally found a plan that worked for me and helped me lose over 30kg in 5 months.

I can't to see what the rest of the year will bring but I'm so happy!!!

Reboot.

I keep posting that I am going back to healthy eating and fail to do so. I'm not proud of it but I guess so much was going on in my life that I kind of put my weight loss endeavors at the end of my priority list. After looking deep within and reminding myself why I decided to lose weight in the first place, I decided to start over.

So I finally rebooted my system last week. By reboot I mean resumed healthy eating patterns. And after a few days I began to feel better about myself. I also started eating breakfast at home. I take Lipton tea with skimmed milk and, an omelet with loads of veggies plus two slices of wheat bread for breakfast. Not only does this keep me full, it also helps me avoid junk food such as the pastries that are sold a few blocks away from my workplace.

I sometimes take some fruit as a mid-morning snack. It is usually some pineapple or mango. This keeps me going till about 2-3pm when I take lunch; my heavy meal of the day. Now I hardly take much for supper. It is either some cereal or a glass of juice with a slice of wheat bread.

I have also started weighing my foods for accurate figures. I read somewhere that it helps with weight loss because you get to know exactly how many calories you are consuming, as compared to just measuring and eyeballing quantities. Though I use Myfitnesspal to log in my daily intake I may consider actually writing down what I eat with pen and paper soon. Oh well, let's wait and see.

So, this morning I weighed and realized that I was at 101.8kg. I weighed 103.2kg last Sunday, meaning that I have lost 1.4kg. Under normal circumstances I would rejoice, but I've been here before. All I want to do now is continue watching my food intake and see if I can get to at least 95kg by the end of the month.

I intend to start exercising regularly again. It's the rainy season here so I will have to work out indoors more often.

Weigh In No. 3, Jogging, Life.........

Last week was full of events. The company I work for celebrated its 20th year in the Advertising and Public Relations industry so we had to organize a party. I also ended a long exhausting relationship that I had been in and out of in the last three years. Phew! I was so relieved when it happened. No tears were shed, I must say. I was actually happy it was over. To be honest, I don't even miss him :-).

Anyways, I'm still alternating between jogging and walking. I walk briskly on days that my knees feel tired. It feels really good to be consistent though. I'm actually making friends on the route I use. Seems everyone is realizing the benefits of exercise, right?

TOM came knocking over the weekend so I wasn't surprised when I saw a gain on the scale this morning. Oh well, the scale won't discourage me though.

Previous Weigh In: 208.3 lbs

Today's Weigh In: 209.4 lbs

Loss: None

Gain: 1.1 lbs

Have a lovely day.

An Emotional Anniversary Post.

There is no one out there who doesn't feel good about him/herself when his/her weight loss efforts are noticed. It could be when a friend, colleague or family member asks the simple question "Have you been working out?" or, when someone you haven't seen in ages exclaims "You have lost some pounds. Good job!" Yes. I'm sure a lot of you out there have heard these several times. However, are you usually prepared for those who say the demoralizing stuff? Surely, there must have been a few who found it hard to believe that you were capable of losing weight by the conventional method ie. Diet and Exercise. Oh! and then there are those who actually tell you that you would look ugly if you ever lost weight.

Now, if you do not have a strong spirit you may become an emotional wreck from hearing some of these things. I have never really cared about the stretch marks that are becoming more visible by the day or the fact that certain parts of my body may never be the same. It is my body and no one else's. I remember when I weighed 242lbs and my size 20 trousers were so tight that they were actually cutting my skin. I felt like crap but I still kept eating the wrong foods. I cried when I couldn't get clothes in my size but still ate junk food religiously. My new year resolutions to lose weight would vanish as soon as I saw some pastry or tasty drink. And let's not forget the late night eating as well as snacking. I was out of control. The sad part was that deep down I knew that I was doing the wrong thing. People kept commenting "Enyonam, you are putting on too much weight." An aunt actually asked "Do you expect to get a husband looking like that?" However, with all these comments I still didn't make any attempts to exercise because I was worried about how people would stare at me and laugh if I tried to even walk briskly in the neighborhood.

My first wake up call came in 2008 when I graduated and had to do my National Service at the Dietetic Unit of a Teaching Hospital. Looking at all the morbidly obese people who came in tears because their obesity was causing them a lot of pain was scary. The cases of diabetes, high cholesterol levels and joint issues were just overwhelming. I didn't want to get to that point. I just couldn't. So, I started taking herbal teas. I registered at a gym where the quack instructor had me doing 2000jumps with the jump-rope in my first week. That had me at the cardiologist's office by the second week since the pressure was too much on my heart and I was in pain. Wow! This is the longest post I've ever had to type. Please bear with me as I share my story.

So, I put my weight loss efforts on hold and tried to do a few things like exclude refined sugar from my diet and eat more vegetables. After my service I went to graduate school and then,  I started eating more junk food at very very late hours because of the pressure of school work. I fell in love as well. The guy made me feel like a princess. I begun to feel like weight wasn't a problem. Then, he broke my heart by going after a much skinnier girl. I know that he could have liked her for so many other reasons but I managed to convince myself that it was because I was too fat. After weeks of crying and looking at my folds in the mirror I made a decision. Only I can give myself the maximum amount of love I deserve. I was going to lose weight; not for any guy but for me. I was going to lose the weight to feel good and be healthy. I was going to lose weight because.... I loved MYSELF.

That was in 2009. It was on this day three years ago that I made that decision and I've never looked back. Sure, there have been a few falls but I always get back up. Anytime I look at my before and after pictures I realize that I am on a positive and enlightening journey to my goal. I am fitter, hotter and happier. There are those who still say discouraging things but after three years in this, my spirit is tougher than a crocodile's back.

Remembering the Past.

Last April, I put up a post on Facebook and my other blog about the love lives of the plus sized (or fat, whatever). It was an emotional post for me since I used myself as an example. Here is what I had to say.

THE PLUS SIZED GIRL + ROMANCE = A STRANGE MIX?

"I have, on numerous occasions seen the end of what seemed like, healthy growing relationships for one single reason... Wait for it... My weight! I’m sure many of you would begin to shake your heads in disagreement or even, try to find other reasons why those relationships never lasted.

I’ve never been a skinny girl. I’ve always had what the typical Ghanaian would call BODY. So, it saddens me to realise that guys that get involved with me actually envision a slimmer version of me and try to force me into being that “ideal” woman they fantasise about. The last guy I “fell” in love with would sometimes look at me and make snide remarks about how fat I was and how I needed to lose the extra flesh. And that was after I had lost some weight!

Oh! And there was this guy I had adored since secondary school who told me he had feelings for me via phone. The problem: He hadn’t seen me for years. And when we finally met? He just vanished into thin air after calling me to say that he was “still” interested me. Still? Was my look so repulsive that he had to use the word “still”? Geez... These among many other experiences got me asking myself, “is there a law of nature that forbids plus sized women to find real love”? I know you guys are going to reply by saying that there are men who find plus sized women attractive but, do you think women want a man who likes them because of their size or, one who likes them in spite of their size?

There were times in the past when I would cry myself to sleep and, not eat till my Dad practically begged me to stop the stupidity. You are beautiful, he said. All you need to do is exercise and eat right and you’d be a knockout. Then I would go out for a walk and the guys in the area would start calling me names like “Obolo”, “Obiggie” et al. I’m sure you know how that ended. The worst state of depression ever known to man... having a low self-esteem.

Today, people see me as the flirtatious and sexy plus size woman who has an overdose of confidence. If only they knew how much work it took to get there. A friend once said to me “Enyo, if you can love your flaws, people will follow suit”. That was my moment. I decided to fix what I could. First line of action, lose weight. And I did lose, 35 pounds to be exact. I still have more to lose but, I also love to look at myself in the mirror every morning and say “Damn girl, you’re one hot mama”.

I did digress a little but, I had to so my questions would make sense... So, like I asked, do you guys find the thought of dating a plus sized woman repulsive? Are u dating a plus sized woman? Would you put pressure on your woman to lose weight? Are you embarrassed to be seen with a plus sized lady in public?"

Looking back, I realize that it took a lot of hard work to build my self-esteem. I hated the fact that I was fat and hearing someone else say it made me feel even worse. I thank God that I was able to get up and do something about my weight. I may not be at my goal weight now but I weigh less than I did two years ago and I'm grateful for that. Here's to a year of more pounds falling off.

I Got This.....

When I fall I won't drop
Something in me won't let me stop until I reach the top
I keep going
I keep showing
The whole world everyday i'm growing
Everything everything everything everything everything in me
Says I got this....

This are lyrics from the song I Got This featured on Jennifer Hudson's new album "I Remember Me". After listening to the whole song i found myself relating to the lyrics. Many people still don't believe I can reach my goal weight. Some look at me and say "U are supposed to be fat... or, u won't look beautiful if you lose weight" What? That's support for u. I can tell that only five people support my weight loss and these include my parents, boyfriend and a very good friend of mine.

So, when JHud goes like "Ain't no stopping me" I sure can relate... I must say that i'm grateful to have support from u fellow bloggers. I would have had to keep these things to myself and ended up being depressed. You guys know I got this. :-)

Love you all...

Getting Emotional....

Somewhere last year, when I was about 110kg. Someone I truly loved looked at me and said "Enyonam, you'd be a stunner if only you would lose a few pounds." Obviously I was hurt. What did he mean by that? Especially since he had told me that he really loved me no matter what. I smiled and said I was working on it even though deep down I was hurt. Then I found out he was trying to woo a much slimmer girl. The betrayal nearly killed me.

But now, I realise that was my wake up call. As I was crying, I looked at myself in the mirror and, hated what I saw. That was when I decided I was going to lose the extra weight. What did I do? Started jumping rope twice everyday and watching every single thing that entered my mouth. the result; I lost 11kg. Then the next guy I fell in love with made me feel fat so I worked harder but because I was doing it to please him, the weight just refused to come off. Then we broke up and then I stopped exercising and went back to late night eating. I ended up gaining 3.8kg and moving to 102.8kg.

So one night as I was in blogsville reading several weight loss stories, one caught my eye. The lady said she started to lose weight the moment she learnt to love herself for who she was and gained confidence in herself. This gave her the strength to wake up at 4am every morning to walk around her house. She lost 80 pounds just by doing that and eating right. That just triggered my vim. I've learnt to love myself and I'm losing the weight 1kg at a time.

I want to thank you guys for reading my blog and leaving your comments as I share my triumphs and failures with you. It's talking to you that keeps me sane and on track.

Love you all.......

98.1, I've Lost 10 Pounds!!

So today is a very memorable day for me. Wanna know why?  I've lost 10 pounds! Yay!

Now I know it's not much when compared to how much more weight I have to lose to get to my goal weight but, like my Dad always says: you never get to the finish line if you don't partake in the race. I'm gonna continue working hard and persevering. I will get there even if it kills me!

I must confess that I feel good now that I'm losing the weight. The confidence is high and I must confess, I can't wait to see the look on the faces of those who didn't believe I could do this when they see me next year.

:-) Cheers and y'all have a lovely day!