A week ago, I was excited and nervous about restarting this diet. The first time I did this diet and really did it well was in March 2018. I stuck to the diet like my life depended on it; in reality, it actually did. I was just tired of being fat all the time. Tired of having knee pain all the time. Tired of always being the fat one in pictures. Infact, I hated taking full length pictures and stuck to the occasional selfie. After 8 months of following the diet strictly, I was rewarded with a 40kg loss.
My confidence shot through the roof, and I even wore an evening gown for the first time. I mean, I never thought I would be blessed with the opportunity to fit into a UK12 at any point in my adult life. I was content with being a UK16 after being a UK22-24 for so long. However, just when I was beginning to enjoy my new body a number of things happened. COVID, losing my mom, downsizing at my job and some family drama.
I lost myself; I lost the will to do anything really and just let myself go completely. The previous me was in the gym every other day but at this point all I did was lay in bed, eat junk in massive proportions and watch TV. Well, for a body with a slow metabolism, the weight crept back on and fast. Fast forward to 2025, I gained the 40kg and added an additional 15 for good measure. Am I ashamed of myself? Yes. Do I wish I could have done something differently when I noticed the weight creeping back up? Probably. Truth is I was just happy to be alive at that point, with all that was going on around us.
Then it finally hit me one day: MY WHY. Why I needed to lose this weight. Why I needed to stay healthy. I need to do this for LOVE. I need to do this because I love God and he does not condone gluttony. I need to do this because I love my family and do not want to burden them with avoidable illnesses. I need to do this because I want to be able to be strong to bring my children into the world. I need to do this because I LOVE ME.
This diet is quite expensive and actually took a chunk out of my savings but, money can be recovered but life... not so much.
I'm feeling quite emotional and needed to pour out my thoughts.
Anyway, tomorrow is weigh-in day and I'm eager to see what the scale will read. Till then.
Be safe.
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